


What's In A Kiss

by bluewishdust



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Ghost Kavinsky, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5321435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluewishdust/pseuds/bluewishdust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah loves casual kisses. His friends do too.</p><p>(I somehow found myself writing random kissing scenes starring Noah and various other Raven Cycle characters and I decided to put them in some kind of order and post them... There will be different chapters with different characters and if you only like certain pairings I guess you can skip everything else, because most of this is pretty random? I kind of ship Noah with everyone and I just want him to be happy and to feel alive, ok?  )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gansey

**Author's Note:**

> There will be different chapters with different characters, Gansey is the first. If you only like certain pairings I guess you can skip everything else, because most of this is pretty random?  
> Forgive me, if I made any mistakes, or if anything is inacccurate, but I just had to do something about my Noah feels. I hope you somehow understand... Have fun and good bye!

Noah appeared right behind Gansey. 

"Do you still remember your first kiss?" he asked him.

Gansey saw the ghost's reflection appearing in the mirror in front of him and dropped his toothbrush in shock.

"God!" he called, "Don't scare me like this!"

Noah giggled. "Sorry," he said, although he wasn't.

"What did you want to know again?" Gansey asked while continuing to brush his teeth. Although he wasn't wearing more than shorts, he didn't feel intimidated. He didn't let Noah disturb him. He was kind of used to him randomly appearing in the bathroom from time to time by now.

"I wanted to know if you still remember your first kiss," Noah repeated his question from before, a wicked grin on his lips.

Gansey chocked on the toothpaste. Noah laughed.

"I do," Gansey answered, after he had stopped coughing.

"It happened right here in this spot..." Noah said in a spooky voice, as if he was retelling the story of a murder and not of a kiss, "On a night like this."

Gansey sighed. "Stop it," he said with an exhausted smile, "I already told you that I remember it. You stole my first kiss. How could I forget about that?"

Noah stepped closer. "Wrong," he said and grinned, "I did not steal this kiss. You begged for me to do it."

Gansey turned around and looked into Noah's eyes. His cheeks flushed red. "Come on Noah, do we really have to talk about this again?"

Noah giggled. He was obviously enjoying this conversation.

"Oh Noah," he said, trying to imitate Gansey, "There is this pretty girl and I would really like to kiss her but I have never kissed anyone before and what if I, Richard Gansey the third, am not good at kissing? You have to help me!" He ended his little performance with a theatrical hand gesture.

Gansey had to laugh. "That is not what I said!" he protested, still smiling.

"That is totally what you said," Noah continued to mock him, "And then we kissed. And you were completely helpless."

Gansey threw a towel at him. "I was not!" he said.

The towel landed on Noah's head and for a moment he looked like a kid under a sheet, playing ghost. 

"Boooh!" he said and then laughed so hard that he had to hold his belly. 

Gansey crossed his arms and watched Noah with a loving smile until the other boy had calmed down again.

"So to come back to your proposition..." Noah said, looking at Gansey from beneath his towel, "You would say that you are a good kisser? And not completely helpless anymore?"

Gansey shrugged. "I don't know?" he said.

Noah smiled. "I could help you to find out, you know?" he whispered with a smile on his face. Then he placed his hand on Gansey's bare chest, right above his heart.

The other boy shivered, Noah's fingers were cold after all.

"Look Noah," Gansey said calmly, "Just to make it clear once and for all: I am not into boys. And I am not into dead people. No offense."

Noah took his hand back. "That didn't bother you the last time," he said and took Gansey's glasses away, only to put them on himself, "Besides... Glyndwr is a boy too as far as I know, and you seem to be totally into him." He grinned contently.

Gansey sighed and blinked a few times, before taking his glasses back. 

"You know what I meant," he said.

Noah nodded. "I know," he said apologetically, "I am sorry."

Gansey patted his shoulder. "Can I maybe finish brushing my teeth now?" he asked, as if the conversation about kisses had never existed, "When did you brush your teeth for the last time anyway? How many years ago?"

Noah laughed. Then looked at Gansey. 

The ghost remembered the kiss like it was yesterday. The taste of toothpaste on Gansey's lips and his fingers awkwardly fumbling around Noah's face at first, because he had not known where to put them, then grabbing Noah's shirt as if he was the only thing which kept him from drowning. 

Noah had liked it although it had not felt perfect at all. He had liked it because of how thankful Gansey had looked at him afterwards.

Today Gansey seemed more grown up and Noah wondered how his kisses would taste like by now. But he knew that he would not be the one to find out.

"Alright," he said and then slowly started to disappear.

Before he was completely gone he drew a smiley face onto the mirror, with invisible fingers, using toothpaste.

On Gansey's face there was a smile too now. The frown which he had worn all day had vanished. He looked happy. At least for tonight.

Knowing that this was his fault made Noah feel at least as good as a kiss could have done it.


	2. Ronan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan has questions and Noah answers in an unexpected way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a bit insecure about this chapter, since I'm not sure if Ronan would be the type for casual kisses... But I just love the relationship between Noah and Ronan, so he had to be included. I hope you like it and please let me know if I made any mistakes or if there is something else you want to tell me.

„Have you ever kissed another boy, Noah?“ Ronan asked quietly, lying on top of his bed. 

Noah, who was lying next to him, turned his head towards him. “Why are you asking?” he wanted to know.

“I don’t know,” Ronan said, “I… Well, never mind.”

“No,” Noah demanded, feeling that Ronan was about to change the topic, “Tell me.”

Ronan was quiet for a moment. “Lately I have been thinking about how… how it would feel like to kiss another boy." he said, his voice barely more than a whisper, but deadly honest.

Noah grinned. “As far as I know, that depends on the boy,” he stated.

“So you have… kissed another boy?” Ronan repeated his question from before.

“Well now that I am...” Noah began, only to stop and thoughtlessly trace the smudge on his cheek. 

After a moment he seemed to remember what he had wanted to say and added: “I’ve kissed a bunch of people. Not as many as I had liked to but… Yes, I’ve kissed boys before.”

Ronan was staring at the ceiling. “And how did it feel like?” he asked silently, trying to hide how important this question was to him.

“As I just said, depends on who we are talking about.” Noah said and then subdual continued “Although I’d rather not think about all the people I haved kissed when I was still alive if you don’t mind.”

Ronan looked at Noah, to see if he was okay. He didn’t look any more dead than normal.

“I can’t know if you would like it though,” Noah then said, when Ronan had already stopped expecting him to say another thing about it, “Guess you will have to find that out on your own.” 

Casually he added: “Although I could offer you some help.”

Ronan looked at him bewilderedly. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“You want to find out how it feels like to kiss a boy…” Noah said with a grin on his lips, “And I am a boy who likes kissing people.” Noah knew that his kisses were not the ones Ronan craved but maybe he could just... 

Ronan shook his head. “No, no, no” he hurried to say, “You are my friend, you are not even alive and…”

As Noah leaned over him, Ronan stopped talking. And as the other boy bowed over to kiss him, he didn’t oppose. 

Their lips met and Ronan closed his eyes. Noah tasted like winter, maybe because of his cold skin, but it didn’t disturb him at all.

Before they realised it, Noah had moved onto Ronan’s lap, his icy hands tracing over Ronan’s head and they were still kissing.

Ronan had stopped thinking and his hands did as they wanted to, wandered under Noah’s shirt, his fingers touching skin, which should not even be possible to exist.

Noah reacted by making a breathless noise. Then he sat up and giggled, which brought the kiss to a sudden end. “I am ticklish.” he apologized.

Looking down at Ronan, he saw that there was some kind of hunger in the other boy’s eyes. Ronan smiled and then without warning, grabbed Noah’s tie to drag him closer again. “Don’t stop.” he demanded and Noah obliged. His hands were trembling as their lips met again and so he grabbed Ronan’s collar.

Noah loved kissing. He loved kissing Ronan. It made him forget the things he didn’t want to feel, made him feel alive again. Made him remember how it felt to have a beating heart. 

And apparently Ronan too liked kissing Noah, since he couldn’t let go of him. His hand’s grabbed Noah’s hair.

Noah moaned and it sounded so human, that he himself was surprised for a moment. It was as if he could almost feel the blood rushing through his veins again, just because he was so close to another human being. 

He didn’t want it to stop, but Ronan unlike him, needed to breathe.

As they parted, they stayed silent for a moment. 

Then Ronan mumbled “Wow.”

“Guess that means you liked it?” Noah asked him with a joyful expression.

Ronan stared at him. “I guess it does,” he answered, his eyes wide. 

Noah laid down again, next to Ronan, closer than before. 

“I liked it too.” he said and closed his eyes, wishing that he could be able to fall asleep right now, right here, next to Ronan.


	3. Adam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam seeks comfort and finds Noah.

It was uncommon for Adam to come visiting Monmouth Manufacturing only to find the home of his friends empty. Well… Almost empty. Because there was someone, who was here nearly all the time.

“Noah?” he called, “Where are you?”

Adam heard Noah’s voice before he saw him. 

“I am here,” he whispered, right behind Adam. Adam turned around. 

“Where are the others?” he asked.

Noah, who looked as pale as usual, even in the warm light which shined through the big windows today, grinned. “And I had already hoped, that someone would be here to visit me for once…” he said in a sarcastic tone, “But everyone only ever visits Gansey or Ronan.”

Adam sighed. “Sorry,” he said, “You know that I didn’t mean it that way, I just…” He ran his hands through his hair. 

Noah shook his head. “Don’t apologize,” he said, “I just wanted to make a joke. Should have seen, that you are not in the mood for joking.”

Adam shrugged. “It has been a though day so far, I am just tired…” he said in a voice which sounded just like it.

“Want to come sit down in my room?” Noah asked and was already on the way to his chamber without even waiting for an answer. 

Adam followed. 

“To answer your question from before,” Noah started to explain, while sitting down on his bed, which as always looked like nobody had ever slept in it before, “Gansey drove away in his car. I don’t know where he went, but I doubt that he will be back soon. And Ronan… Well with him it’s just the same actually. Apparently ghosts don’t have to be informed about anything happening in this house.”

Adam sat down too. “Has Blue been here?” he asked.

“Nah,” Noah replied. 

Adam sighed. “It might even be better if they are not here. If Blue is not here. If… Ronan is not here.”

Noah furrowed his brow. „Why that?“ he asked.

“It has not been easy with Blue lately,” Adam answered, “I think you know that already.”

“Oh,” Noah said with empathy in his voice, “I see. The kissing problem and everything that followed, right? Does it still bother you that much?“

Adam shrugged once more. „I don’t know…“ he said, „I think I no longer have a crush on her but… It does kinda bother me, that I never got to kiss her, I guess? I really would have liked to kiss her.”

“I understand that,” Noah said and there was this cryptic little smile on his face, “I too like kissing people.”

Adam snorted. “Well, I wouldn’t know,” he said.

“You have never kissed anyone before?” Noah asked, without the slightest hint of judgement in the tone of his voice.

Adam shook his head. „I’d really like to though…“ he said very silently, “Never mind.”

After a moment Noah asked: “So I get why you said that it’s maybe the best if Blue is not here… But why did you say the same about Ronan?”

Adam was quiet for some time. “I have just been a little bit confused lately when it comes to Ronan,” he said.

“Confused about if he is the one you really want to kiss?” Noah asked with a smile on his lips.

Adam did not dispute, so Noah took it for a yes. He also did not ask any further about it, because he saw that Adam did not look very happy. He looked a bit like a ghost himself. His eyes were weary and his lips were pale.

“You look so tired Adam,” he determined instead, because he didn’t quite know what else to say.

“I am,” Adam answered.

“That’s okay,” Noah said and couldn’t stop himself from giving the other boy a small hug, which turned out a bit awkward since Adam had not expect it and didn’t really know how to react.

“Noah?”, Adam asked, after Noah had withdrawn again, looking right into his eyes.

“Hm?”, Noah replied, expecting something like “Why the hell did you do this?”

The ghost was really surprised for a moment as Adam instead asked: “Could you do that again?”

Noah smiled, his whole face lighting up with joy. He leaned closer and hugged Adam again. This time tighter.

“Thank you,” Adam sighed, his face nestled in Noah’s shoulder, “Until now I had not realized how bad I’ ve been craving physical contact… Sorry if this is strange.”

“It’s not strange at all,” Noah whispered as comfortingly as he managed to in his ghostly voice, “I too get this feeling all the time.”

Adam was still holding on to him and so Noah didn’t let go. He reached out to pat Adam’s head. The other boy’s hair was even softer as it looked like.

“Not to complain, but touching you really gets cold after some time…” Adam then stated in an apologetic tone.

Noah drew away slowly. “Sorry,” he said, “I can’t turn it of…” 

As he saw that Adam looked kinda guilty he added “I could work as your air-conditioning in the summer though.”

Adam laughed and it was a beautiful noise.

As Noah was already thinking about which topic they could start talking about next, he noticed that Adam was staring at his face.

“Is there something else you want me to do, Adam?” he asked.

“Hm… I don’t know,” Adam admitted, “I was just thinking about kissing again and…”

Noah smiled. “If you are asking if I would kiss you, the answer is yes, I totally would,” he said bluntly.

Adam blushed. And then nodded. 

Noah would have liked to touch his face, but he did not, remembering how icy his hands were and how Adam had told him that he was cold. Just kissing it was then.

Noah leaned closer. Adam swallowed. Just before their lips met, Adam asked: “Are you sure this will work? I mean…”

Noah giggled. „Don’t think too much about it,“ he said, “Close your eyes if that helps you to relax.” And that Adam did.

Noah kissed him. He did it very gently, because that was how Adam deserved it. Adam deserved all the gentleness, for his life was rough enough.   
For a moment Noah thought about how Adam would have deserved so much more than the kiss of a dead boy. 

Then he stopped thinking, because Adam had started to kiss him back. And damn, he was a good kisser at his first try. What a shame that he didn’t even know that. What a shame that he had not kissed anyone else before. And what an honour to be the one being able to taste Adam Parrish’s soft lips. 

It was hard for Noah to keep his hands to himself, it was hard to keep this kiss as delicate as it had been intended to be.

As they parted again, Noah saw that Adam was smiling. If he hadn’t known it any better he could have sworn that his heart did a little jump right at that very moment.

“Thank you,” Adam said, only this and nothing more. Then he got up. 

“Are you leaving?” Noah asked, already knowing the answer would be yes, still hoping that the answer would be no.

“I have to leave, I am sorry,” Adam answered. And Noah understood. 

Kissing a ghost alone would have been confusing enough, but in this case it was probably even more confusing for Adam.

“At least this time I am not the one disappearing”, Noah thought as the door closed behind Adam.


	4. Joseph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah finds out that he is not the only ghost in town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I have to apologize for this chapter because I don't really know what happened here.  
> I decided to bring Kavinsky back as a ghost because I like the idea of him still kind of being there, maybe being able to get another chance in some ways (I just kind of ignored the things we know about ghosts from the books, bear with me, please).  
> This ship is probably really strange and I don't know if my writing here makes any sense, but I just really really wanted to include Kavinsky in this fanfiction.  
> Also this chapter is not as fluffy as the ones before, just to warn you.  
> Please let me know what you think?

"You must be really desperate to come here," Noah heard Kavinsky's voice, "Did your shitty friends forget about you? You are dead. Nobody cares for the dead. I know that now."

  
Noah smiled. He had come here out of curiosity. He had not thought that this would be possible. A second ghost in town.

  
"You are pretty cheeky for someone who is too weak to be anything more than a voice," Noah said, "You can't even manifest yourself, can you?"

  
Kavinsky growled. "Shut up," he said.

  
Then his body showed up in front of Noah, only for a second, like a flickering picture on a TV screen, nothing more than a shadow, before it disappeared again.

  
Noah grinned. "That was better. But you are still not good enough," he said. He knew that he was making Kavinsky angry, but that was exactly what was needed. Emotions. Because that was what brought you back most of the time.

  
Making Kavinsky angry had never been a good idea in the past, but right now Noah was not afraid. He was already dead, so there was nothing to lose. Besides: Right in this moment he was the stronger one and Kavinsky knew that.

  
It took Kavinsky a few more minutes before he managed to appear again. This time he looked a bit more like a person. A very sick looking person, but still a person.

  
Noah watched him critically and nodded with approval.

  
Kavinsky looked at his own hands in awe, moved his fingers carefully, formed a fist.

  
"Fuck yes," he called with a devious grin on his pale lips, "Now that's something." He started laughing.

  
Noah crossed his arms. "Just don't get careless," he urged him, "You have to take your time with it before..." Noah sighed. Kavinsky had already started to flicker again before he had been able to finish his warning.

  
"What the fuck?" Kavinsky asked and sounded quite desperate, "Why is this so hard?" His body was gone again, Noah only heard his words.

  
The desperation became anger as Kavinsky shouted: "How do you do it?"

Noah turned around, trying to locate the other ghost who was nothing but terrible words right now.

"It took me years," he said, "I was all alone, I had nobody to help me and it took me years to find people who could at least sense my presence." Also I died on the damn ley line, he thought.

"Then help me!" Kavinsky's voice shouted.

Noah sighed. Why was he even here? Dead Kavinsky was even more annoying than the living one had been. But that was understandable. Being a ghost was confusing.

"I am trying to!" he answered, "But I can't do the work for you, you have to focus. Focus on... I don't know. Something which was important for you."

It stayed terribly silent for a long time and Noah already though that he had lost Kavinsky now, as the other boy suddenly appeared again. He smiled contently. 

So apparently Kavinsky did have something which kept him in this world.

Noah was impressed. He knew that he wouldn’t have been able to manifest without drawing any power from the ley line. 

“And now?” Kavinsky asked, coming closer. 

Noah felt like taking a step back to keep a save distance, but he stayed where he was, remembering that there was nothing Kavinsky could do to him. He thought about what lessons he could possibly teach the other boy.

“Touch me,” he said, not realizing, what it probably sounded like to the other boy.

Kavinsky laughed. “What?”, he spit out, „Why would I want to touch you? You're not really my type.”

“That's not what I meant," Noah sighed, "Just because I can see you now, doesn’t mean that you are… how do I put it? You might not be able to touch anything yet.”

Kavinsky nodded. “I see,” he said harshly.

Then he reached out for Noah and Noah again started to think about why he had decided to come here in the first place. 

He saw Kavinsky grabbing his arm but he didn’t feel it. Just as he had thought.

“I don’t feel anything,” he stated, his dead looking eyes meeting Kavinsky’s even deader looking eyes.

Kavinsky, with his unsubstantial hand still on Noah’s arm said: “Of course you can’t feel anything. You are dead, man, are you not? You don’t feel anything after you are dead.”

Noah snorted. „Don’t tell me what it’s like to be dead,“ he said, „I have been dead for quite some time now. You don’t know anything yet. You can feel things as a ghost. Probably not the same way than you did before but…”

Kavinsky’s eyes went wide. “You can? Show me,” he demanded impatiently. 

So many times during his life Kavinsky would have giving anything to stop feeling things but now it was the thing he missed the most. Noah knew exactly what that felt like.

“I can’t,” he said truthfully, “But…” He thought about it for a moment. He had been able to draw power from the ley lines, from Blue maybe…

Noah knew that this was not a good idea but he still said: “Try to use my energy. Maybe you can do it then.”

At first Kavinsky looked at him bewilderedly but then he seemed to understand something and a concentrated expression appeared on his face. 

Then Noah felt it. His power fading, like blood dripping from a deep cut. Kavinsky’s hand gripping his arm tightly.

Kavinsky noticed it too. Suddenly there was a fire in his eyes. It didn’t matter anymore that Noah was the one in front of him. The only thing that mattered was that he was able to touch again. He licked his lips and Noah felt like prey. There was hunger in the ghost in front of him and he was the only one being there to still it.

Before Noah had fully realized it, Kavinsky’s other hand was on the back of his head, pulling him closer. Then the other boy’s lips met his own in a violent kiss. Out of a habit he tried to gasp for air but Kavinsky didn’t let him, didn’t let go of him. 

There was no tenderness in Kavinsky’s touch at all and still Noah couldn’t help enjoying it in a strange and twisted way. He loved kissing and this was a kiss unlike any others he had experienced so far. 

Noah grabbed Kainsky’s shirt, feeling how the kiss took even more energy from him. He couldn’t decide if this was feeling right or wrong.

He knew that he should have been uncomfortable about the way Kavinsky was treating him but Noah mind was blank, there was only the other boy’s lips on his own, the other boy’s hands pulling his hair, wandering down his back, grabbing his butt. Noah didn’t know if he wanted it to stop or if he wanted more of it.

Neither of them was really there but still they were feeling each other, tasting each other. 

Noah didn’t know if this kiss was special because the one who was kissing him was Kavinsky, or because the one who was kissing him was a ghost too.  
He only knew that it made him enjoy being dead, made him enjoy loosing contact to the ground, made him enjoy dissolving… No. It had to stop. 

With a force he didn’t knew had he possessed he pushed Kavinsky away. Only now he realized that he was barely visible anymore, that Kavinsky had almost consumed all of his power.

“That’s enough,” he growled angrily. Angry about the way Kavinsky had kissed him, and angry at himself for letting it happen. Angry about the fact that he couldn’t help feeling the tension between them. The anger made him stronger again.

A dirty smile appeared on Kavinsky’s face. Noah expected him to say something about the kiss, about his power, but he didn’t.

“I remember you, you know,” Kavinsky said instead, his voice sounding more solid than before, “I saw you in his car sometimes. He knows that you are dead, doesn’t he?”

Noah knew that he was talking about Ronan. Who else would he be talking about? 

“He knows,” Noah said, “But he doesn’t care. He takes me the way I am.”

“Do you think it would be the same with me?”, Kavinsky asked. His tone was still cocky, there was still a smile on his face, but it was a fragile one.

Noah laughed. It sounded so cruel that Noah got scared of himself for a moment. “What do you think?”, he asked harshly. He wanted to apologize. Wanted to be kind. But he couldn’t.

“Did he send you? To bring me back I mean?” Kavinsky tried another question, ignoring Noah’s words.

Noah shook his head, his eyes grim. “He doesn’t care about you anymore, Kavinsky,” he said.

Kavinsky made a noise and Noah couldn’t decide if it was a cry or laughter, howling or screaming. It didn’t sound human. 

Then Kavinsky smiled again, somewhat suggestively, somewhat ghostly.

“Who cares,” he said, “There are others I can talk to.” Combined with the way he looked at Noah, it sounded like a threat. 

Noah sighed. “I am going to leave know,” he determined.

For a moment Kavinsky looked like a lost child. “Will you come back?”, he asked.

“I don’t know,” Noah answered truthfully, and turned around. While he was walking away he could still feel Kavinsky’s touch. 

He didn’t look back.


	5. Matthew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah is alone at home as Matthew stops by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have been neglecting this fanfiction for too long (sorry sorry sorry), but for those of you who are still interested: this is probably the fluffiest chapter so far (also I couldn't really keep it as casual as the others because I love this ship, good bye)

Noah, sitting in the middle of Gansey’s mini town, got surprised by someone knocking on the door. He had not been expecting any visitors and his friends were usually still in school at this time of day. Also they wouldn’t have knocked in the first place.

He decided to ignore it, but after a moment, when he had already suspected the visitor to leave, there was a second knock. Patiently but determined.

Noah sighed and got up. What sense was there in opening the door, when the one in front of it could maybe not even see you?

He opened the door only a bit, peaking through the door gap. He was delighted to find a familiar face in front of him. 

“Hello, Matthew,” he greeted, opening the door wider.

“Hello, Noah,” the boy in front of him answered, his nose and cheeks slightly red from the cold, “I am here to visit my brother but I saw that his car is gone. Can I maybe wait here for him to return? I don’t want to disturb you but it’s too cold to wait outside...”

Noah, without thinking, immediately stepped aside to let him in.

“Thank you,” Matthew said, slipping off his coat.

“Would you mind if I make myself some tea, to warm myself up? I don’t want to bother you with it,” he then added.

Noah smiled, thinking about how incredibly kind Matthew was, compared to his two older brothers. “Of course!” he said, “You know where to find everything, right?”

Matthew nodded, already heading for the bathroom, which was also the kitchen. He had been here often enough.

Noah, not knowing what to do for a moment decided to sit down on the floor again. As far as he remembered he had never really been alone with Matthew before. This was somehow kind of exciting.

He heard Matthew humming a melancholic melody while boiling water for his tea. Noah had too smile again. Everything about Ronan’s little brother was adorable. Not only did he look like an angelic creature, he also behaved like one.

A couple minutes later Matthew came back again, a mug in his hands. He saw Noah sitting on the floor, decided to join and sat down right next to him.

Then a few moments passed, in which neither of them said a word. Matthew took little sips from his tea and Noah watched him. The silence was not an awkward, but a comforting one.

At some point Matthew came closer, rested his head on Noah’s shoulder. The ghost did not feel uncomfortable about it at all which was kind of alarming. He also felt as if he should comment on it in any way, but didn’t quite know what to say. “What did you need from Ronan?”, he therefore asked, to say something else at least.

“Hm I need some help with Latin and I didn’t want to ask Declan about it,” he said, “But it’s not that important. I just wanted to stop by once again.”

“I see,” Noah said, “I would have like to help you but I fear I am not as good as Ronan.” 

Matthew shrugged. “That’s okay. Thank you nonetheless.”

Then it was silent again. Matthew’s head was heavy on Noah’s shoulder. The wind was howling outside.

Suddenly, out of the blue Matthew said: “I really like you, Noah.” His voice had sounded casual, but his cheeks were blushing.

Noah felt an impossible, unknown warmth in his dead chest. To his own surprise he noticed that he had started to feel a serious attraction towards the boy beside him. This was probably not good. 

“I really like you too, Matthew,” he answered, although he shouldn’t have. 

Matthew sat up again, looked at Noah and smiled his wonderful radiant smile. There were dimples in his rosy cheeks and if there had been blood running through Noah’s veins, he surely would have been blushing too by now. 

Noah looked away. Matthew was Ronan’s precious baby brother and he himself was dead and older than he looked like. He should end this conversation right now and leave, before Matthew got any ideas. 

But he couldn’t. So he just sat there in silence, fleeing Matthew’s gaze.

The next thing he knew was Matthew’s fingers toughing his hand. Noah flinched, pulled away his hand as if he had burned himself and stared at Matthew.

Matthew made a surprised noise. “Sorry,” he called, his face even redder than before, “I am sorry. After what you said I thought you might be okay with…” He bashfully hid his head between his shoulders.

Noah shook his head, lacking words. “I…” he tried to explain, “It’s not that I wouldn’t be okay with it but… We probably shouldn’t… You know?”

Matthew looked at him disappointedly, his expression resembling the one of a wounded puppy. Noah couldn’t bear it. “I really shouldn’t,” he repeated, but then reached out, took Matthew’s hand, and held it cautiously, as if it was something of great fragility.

The other boy smiled. Then he leaned over and placed a little kiss on Noah’s cheek, so softly, that Noah could barely feel it on his skin. “I really like you,” Matthew said again and Noah melted away, wishing that he could be as innocent, as genuine. Whishing that he could be alive, only for now, only for this moment. 

He swallowed as Matthew kissed his face again, closer to his mouth this time. 

“Can I kiss your lips too?”, Matthew then asked, his voice only a whisper, “Please?”

Noah sighed, closed his eyes. There were a lot of reasons, why he should answer this with no, but at the moment none of them seemed important enough. He had always liked Matthew, who was the nicest thing he knew, and still he would have never dared to lay a hand on him. Not only because he himself was dead but also because of Matthew being Ronan’s little brother. But now…

“Yes,” he said, his words barely hearable. 

And Matthew kissed him. 

It was a sweet, a tender kiss, which was as light as air. It was short kiss and lasted only for a second. But still it was more than enough.

Afterwards they smiled at each other and Noah ruffled through Matthew’s curly hair.

Then Noah suddenly turned serious. “We mustn’t tell Ronan about this, okay?” he said.

Matthew’s eyes went wide. “Oh no,” he called out, “I completely forgot about Ronan! He is going to kill you if he ever finds out.”

Noah nodded. “He is going to try,” he said and then he giggled.


End file.
